Saturday, July 26, 2014

When Love Isn't Enough

Well ... he's gone.

I was torn as to whether or not I should address this issue publicly, but to be honest ... it's happening and I have to deal with it, so I'm going to be honest with those of you who have kept up with my life so far.

This [new and improved!] blog is now a place for me to vent my frustrations, show my gratitude, visualize my new life, and of course, still post about Halloween, food, and parties.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband left after 9 years together; 6 of them married. We have a 14 month old daughter together. ::deep breath:: There, I said it. I can't put it any other way. He changed; lost faith in me, in us. It sounds absurd, it really does ... especially from us. But, that is what happened. It's important to me that people I care about know that I didn't want this. I still don't. There may have been pain in the past; this year alone has been full of big life changes, but I don't believe any of our issues are worth giving up our commitment to each other. But, I'm only one part of our us.

As being dumped goes, I'm doing okay. He still sees Wednesday every day, of course and we don't yell and scream like crazy exes. It just doesn't feel right. I wish we weren't in this situation, but I'm going to make the best of it. I have to!

I have Wednesday with me every night; she breathes life back into my soul as I rock her to sleep and she starts my day off with a beautiful smile and a big hug each morning as I sing our wake-up song. People always say, "it's the little things that mean so much." I'm living off of those little things now and they're becoming bigger and bigger. I'm now a full-time working single mother with a small business. Holy hell.

I don't know what the future holds, but whatever happens, I know that I'll always be there for my daughter. And she for me. Nothing can ever change that. Onward and upward, right?