Grammar Lesson

Stop labeling photos "Becky and I" ... it's incorrect! Are you trying to be classy? Do you think using "I" sounds fancy? It doesn't, so stop it! Ugh ...

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system, let's talk about why the rampant use of "I" in Facebook/Twitter [is there MySpace anymore?] photos is incorrect. Let's use Marley ... since I'm pretty sure the people who rape the English language are the same kind of people that would go see that dumb-ass movie. [I actually would have seen it, except I read the book and I know it is sad as hell ... I didn't need that played out for me.]

Look at the DVD cover ... it's Marley & Me ... now apply that to your pictures. If you're showing a picture of yourself, you wouldn't label it "I" would you? No, you would label it "me," so add on your buddy and you've got "Marley and me."

Moving on ... if you were to show a picture of you and your beloved/friend/slam-of-the-month kayaking, you could say "Meranda Raven and I went kayaking this weekend!" but you could not say "Here is a kayaking picture of Meranda Raven and I!"

Now, besides the fact that the latter is incorrect ... IT SOUNDS AWFUL! Do people really not hear how awful that sounds? We all went to elementary school, right? The rule is ... if you take out the other person [Miss Raven], the sentence should stand alone. Por exemple, "I went kayaking this weekend." is a perfectly acceptable sentence. However, "Here is a kayaking picture of I." is wrong.

My blood pressure cannot handle your inability to grasp the concepts we were taught to us at least 15 years ago. Let's try another ... let's say you and and your brother/husband/doctor/local redneck took a picture you'd like to show everyone for some reason. You could label it as such ... "Landon and me." Just like Marley, girl! You may not, however label it "Landon and I" because that doesn't make any damn sense.

Why is this important? I've Googled the shit out of this subject and apparently most people think "well, it's just talking, who cares?" Or, "well, it's Facebook, so you don't have to talk right." To which I say, "WHAT!?!?!?!?" But, while I understand that not everyone cares as much as I do, I still believe that it is imperative to teach young people [and old people who have been taught incorrectly] how to effectively communicate on paper as well as in conversation. I went to McAlister's in Alexandria this weekend and they had a sign on their door that said "Are computers are down, sorry for the inconvenience." My head almost exploded in disbelief and anger. You see, auto spell-check allowed for their correct spelling of inconvenience, but there is no "dumb-ass filter" to help them decide whether to use "our" or "are" ... what is happening!? Sure, "there," "they're" and "their" sound the same, but they're not the same and people should know that! We should not let "ur" be a replacement for "you're" and "your" simply because it is easier to type and sounds the same when spoken. Stop the madness! Educate yourselves!

I honestly think that reading regularly, in any capacity or discipline will help people achieve grammatic enlightenment. I read everything from non-fiction books about religions of the world to ridiculous, Halloween themed cozy mysteries about little "bitties" solving local murders. If you are constantly exposed to correct word usage, it will rub off on you and you'll recognize incorrect speech or writing when you hear it or see it. I promise. Everyone makes mistakes [I constantly put about 15 more commas per paragraph than necessary and often misuse "less" and "fewer"] but lets get the very basic stuff taken care of on a wide scale, then we can start picking at people who don't know whether to use "affect" or "effect."

I've included a PowerPoint presentation to this blog in case you need to make copies and throw it off of rooftops. That is my afternoon plan. Good luck.

[plus 10pts if you get the Meranda Raven reference.]

Grey's!

People actually say that ... "I'm watching GREY'S!" I guess you're only cool if you're on a first name basis with the worst show ever. Honestly, what is it with people wanting to watch doctors be slutty? Brandon thanks me on a daily basis for being the anti-everythingthatsucks woman that I am. I thank him for being the opposite of every Affliction-clad, gelled hair douche bag I see every day.
So, lets talk about how awful this is ...

This is burning my eyeballs out of my head ... I mean, I don't like her, I hate everything she has been in except for Wish Upon A Star, so I'm not going to be nice. But even if I loved and adored her and had big giant pictures of her made into art on canvas like you can do at Michaels for a ridiculous price, I would not be pleased with this horrid outfit. She looks like an extra on Deep Space Nine or president of Save the Elephants and/or Possums Foundation. Lets give her some slack on the jacket, it is a great cut. The dress [or shirt/skirt combo] probably could stand on its own with the right shoes or accessories, but wearing them together is just ridiculous. So, once she gets that on [and all the mirrors in her house break and she has no friends that will tell her to stop the insanity] she thinks ... you know, there really just isn't enough grey touching my body right now, I'm gonna go see if Goodwill is still open ... enter, the knee-high, grey suede crushed-velvet-esque boots WITH TIGHTS, no less. And not black tights or nude color support hose ... MORE GREY!

By this time, she is just exHAUSTED and thinks ... screw it, I'm just gonna wear my hair up wet and forget the make up. As long as I do the crossed-leg-hands-on-the-hip pose, everything will be fine! Not so. She blew it.



The Cage-meister!

Yay! I met Nicholas Cage!

I'm just now getting over this. Haha. I was at an event at the RFC, featuring Nic Cage and Joel Schumacher on Saturday night, courtesy of my amazing husband who bought me a ticket! When I first arrived, everyone was seated and he entered through the door down by the theaters screen. I was pretty bummed because he seemed SO far away and I couldn't get a good picture. Later on, I left the theater to go to get a glass of wine and go to the restroom and when I came out ... there he was! No one else was around. No bodyguards or anything. He just so happened to be walking out of the men's room at the same time. Now, what happened next is quite a blur, but I'm positive that it involves me saying "no shit!" when he said "well, thanks so much for watching my films." I also told him I love, Wild At Heart, CON AIR and FACE/OFF and that I watch National Treasure once a week.  Oh man, I am such a nerd! But anyway, it was great and he was wonderful and sweet to chat with such a nerdy fan alone in a creepy hallway. I'm so glad I got a picture! It didn't even cross my mind until someone turned the corner and offered. Thank you, random stranger!