Friday, June 24, 2011

Too Hot, Don't Want

How much longer am I expected to suffer this heat!? Answer ... probably 'till November. Gahhhhhhh. I want to move, but I'm pretty set in my ways here. In case you didn't know, it is cheap as shit to live in Louisiana. I mean, we own a big ol' house for 1/2 of what most of my friends who live elsewhere pay in rent. I'm not sure I'm willing to give that up. I also happen to love the culture of Louisiana, but I recently realized that what I hold on to most dearly are my memories from my childhood in Tennessee, most of which center around Autumn ... which doesn't exist here. Now that I'm nearly 30, I'm realizing that I've been here nearly as long as I was there and like an old boyfriend or a dead relative ... I'm starting to forget what Autumn really looks like, smells like and even what it feels like.

This is my dilemma ... can I move away from the life I've created here? Can I make Zombees somewhere else? Will I be able to maintain my crafting, history student-librarian-candlemaker, aspiring cook, wifey extraordinaire lifestyle if we pack up and move? Or will we have to live in an apartment and work until we're crazy just to make rent ... meanwhile never seeing each other or have time to do what makes us happy? The "grind" of life is something we've never really been into. I consider us to be successful, but for other reasons.

I honestly believe that some people move just to get away from stuff, to run away. I have nothing to "get away" from, but my entire being yearns to go "home" to some place where there is more evenness between dark, light and an adequate time in-between.

I'm just wondering if it is worth it ... on with today's inspiration!! I have a lot of work to do today!!

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