Thursday, September 30, 2010


People actually say that ... "I'm watching GREY'S!" I guess you're only cool if you're on a first name basis with the worst show ever. Honestly, what is it with people wanting to watch doctors be slutty? Brandon thanks me on a daily basis for being the anti-everythingthatsucks woman that I am. I thank him for being the opposite of every Affliction-clad, gelled hair douche bag I see every day.
So, lets talk about how awful this is ...

This is burning my eyeballs out of my head ... I mean, I don't like her, I hate everything she has been in except for Wish Upon A Star, so I'm not going to be nice. But even if I loved and adored her and had big giant pictures of her made into art on canvas like you can do at Michaels for a ridiculous price, I would not be pleased with this horrid outfit. She looks like an extra on Deep Space Nine or president of Save the Elephants and/or Possums Foundation. Lets give her some slack on the jacket, it is a great cut. The dress [or shirt/skirt combo] probably could stand on its own with the right shoes or accessories, but wearing them together is just ridiculous. So, once she gets that on [and all the mirrors in her house break and she has no friends that will tell her to stop the insanity] she thinks ... you know, there really just isn't enough grey touching my body right now, I'm gonna go see if Goodwill is still open ... enter, the knee-high, grey suede crushed-velvet-esque boots WITH TIGHTS, no less. And not black tights or nude color support hose ... MORE GREY!

By this time, she is just exHAUSTED and thinks ... screw it, I'm just gonna wear my hair up wet and forget the make up. As long as I do the crossed-leg-hands-on-the-hip pose, everything will be fine! Not so. She blew it.


  1. Um, I know you're married and whatnot, but can you lady marry me? You say all the things that I say except other girls look at me like I'm crazy.

    Case in point: went to see "Easy A" yesterday, which was SUPERB and saw the trailer for Heigl's newest, "Life as We Know It." My friend said, "I kinda want to see that," and I said, "I would rather eat my shoe. Do you think they get together in the end? He is SUCH a bro and she is SO uptight...what on EARTH will happen???"

    In addition, my hatred of Heigl as an actress and person has been documented on more than one occasion.

  2. HOLY CRAP. I just realized that I had SEEN Wish Upon a Star and liked it, before I knew of Heigl. I feel so dirty.

  3. I now pronounce us lady-married!

    Heigl is the worst and your wrap up of every movie she has ever been in is definitely on point.

    I have never NOT said what I think and it is working out [marginally] in my favor.

  4. Okay, I completely LOVE this post. Hate Heigl, except for Wish Upon A Star...which I have on DVD because i'm that awesome. No, seriously, I do.